The Year of the Lord's Favor

I have recently restructured this blog somewhat.  The inspiration to do so came from various places.  The title was inspired by the Newsboy's song Secret Kingdom.  I love the part of the song that goes, "This here still wakes the dead, still gets God's people Spirit-lead..." because that's what it's all about.  It is about allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us, and allowing God to use us to impact this world for His Kingdom.  And when we do that, the dead are awakened, the sleepers rise, the broken are healed.
I have also been thinking a lot lately about what God has been doing in my life, and about what the Kingdom of Heaven is like-- the principles it is built upon-- about Jesus, the "author and perfecter of our faith."
This passage was brought to my attention this morning, and I was struck by it in a new way:
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."  -Isaiah 61:1-3
In the gospels, Jesus was asked to read and speak, and He read this passage, and then He told his listeners that "Today, this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."
I love how the passage talks about preaching to the poor, binding up the brokenhearted, etc., but it doesn't stop there.  This is what really stood out to me this morning: Jesus didn't just come to comfort, He came to "bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, and the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."  The image that came to my head after reading that was of people who had bandages and were lame and blind and sad and broken, and their bandages fell off and their crutches were thrown away and they sprang up and started dancing and laughing and weeping for joy.
That's what the Kingdom of Heaven is about-- it's about not only reaching out to and comforting the hurting and the broken and the poor, but it's about restoring joy and gladness to them.  The Kingdom of Heaven is full of a whole lot of broken people who have been restored by the grace of an incredible Savior, a merciful and loving God.  It is about people who are being lead by God's Holy Spirit to reach out to those around them and bring the same comfort and joy that they themselves have received.
Do you see why I get so excited when I see glimpses of the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth?  When I get glimpses of these very things happening?  It's incredible.

Dreams

God has been doing so much in my life lately, it has been amazing to experience.  He has been igniting and re-igniting passions and dreams in my life, things both personal and things that are all about the Kingdom.  These include reaching out to and mentoring youth; working on my book (I truly feel like God has given me this storyline, and I am so excited to share the finished product); baseball (through an opportunity to do some writing for this website); music, and American Sign Language.

But with that, God has been getting me out of my comfort zone a lot, putting me in places where I feel weak, which is never an easy process.  It has caused me to to depend ever increasingly in faith and trust in Him; it has driven me to my knees in prayer.  I do not believe God made any mistake putting me in places where I am weak and have little strength, because when I am weak, He is strong.  So the amazing part of this journey has been the strengthening of my faith, and seeing God's hand at work.  He has been so faithful!
I do believe His hand is in everything I mentioned above-- even baseball.  This is an opportunity for me to develop my skills as a writer while writing about something I love.  In an odd way I feel like God delights in the enjoyment I get out of it, because He loves to bless His children.  It is a distraction and a bright spot in the midst of some of the tougher (though still rewarding) things I've been doing lately.
Growing closer to God, and doing Kingdom work, and seeing what He is doing, it's an adrenaline rush like nothing I've ever experienced before.  But at the end of the day all of this leads to one thing: of all these dreams and passions that have been awakened in my heart, the greatest is for Him, and doing His work.  Ultimately that's what makes it rewarding-- seeing His hand at work, being used by Him, catching glimpses of the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth.  I would not want to do any of these things if I did not feel He had put them on my heart.  Knowing Him gives my life meaning and eternal purpose.  That's what makes these dreams so exciting, because I believe He did put them there, and He is going to use them.  It brings me so much joy.  

My Heart

There is a story I wrote-- a short version of it-- some time ago.  Sometimes I can write a story and know when it is done.  This one has never been done, but is constantly changing and evolving, on paper and in my mind.  I believe this story shows my heart like none of the other stories I've written; but it keeps changing because I have changed.  It is a story that anyone who knows me, or used to know me, would probably be astonished to read.
Let me explain that last sentence, because it shows a lot about who I am, and who I used to be.  This is who I used to be: a girl, and ashamed of it.  A very shy, quiet, reclusive girl, who on one hand craved relationships and on the other, felt she didn't need them.  A girl with carefully hidden girlish tendencies under a boyish exterior.  I was the girl who talked sports, wielded a knife, climbed trees-- in short, tried to keep up with the boys so they would consider her their equal-- because I felt it was shameful to be "weaker" just because I was a girl.
How I have changed!
I have come to look upon women not as the "weaker" sex, but as people who have different strengths.  Who I am now: very much a girl, and glad to be so (except I could do without some of my mood swings.)  I love flowers, pretty clothes, and even an occasional love story.  (I once would have died rather than admit that.)  I love the beauty and the emotions and the depth and the strength to be found in a woman's character.  God has also been showing me the value of relationships, and how much I need them.
And so I wrote this story-- and I am still trying to write it because it just isn't quite right yet.  I tried to paint the beauty and the depth that can be found in a woman's character.  I revealed a longing to go deeper that I've always had and still have.   I expressed my love of nature and how I have found God in nature.  I wrote a love story into it, a story of discovery, of wanting to be a better person for the one you fell in love with.  A story of sacrifice, of loss, or grieving.  Examining what is important in life.  All of these things are part of my story.
I had it work-shopped in one of my creative writing classes, and the reactions mixed.  Some said the setting was unrealistic (I basically copied the setting I grew up in); some said the characters were unrealistic (I instilled in them many of the values that I believe.)  Many said the narrator painted the girl in the story as "too perfect."  I tried to remedy that, then I realized, this story is told about a girl by the man who is in love with her.  No, she is not perfect.  But I truly believe this is how he saw her.
In short, many saw the structure of the story, but few understood my heart speaking through it.  I am not trying to say the story is perfect, or even that it is totally realistic.  But I truly do believe it expresses some of the deep things of my heart like nothing else I've written.
For all these reasons, I continue working on this story, and for all these reasons, I am both excited and nervous to let it go.

Paul's Prayers

 

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

-Ephesians 3:16-19

They really shouldn't be here in the first place...

If the Broncos lose their game tomorrow I won’t be disappointed, because frankly they weren’t even supposed to be here in the first place, and it’s amazing that they’ve come this far.  Just the fact that they have won a playoff game and lived to play another is more than anyone thought they could do.  And against the Steelers.  Many of you probably don’t know that the Steelers defense is number one in the NFL.  (Watching the game last Sunday, I could see why– when both teams lined up on the field most of the Steelers players looked twice as big as the Broncos players.  That’d be enough to intimidate me!)  Their plan was to shut down the heretofore fairly effective running game of the Broncos… and shut it down they did.  What they weren’t expecting was to see Tim Tebow pitch so effectively.  He could always throw, he couldn’t always pitch.  Watching him Sunday, most of those throws were dead-on.  Shows that hard work pays off.
So if they lose to the Patriots Saturday… and I have no expectations for them to win, though I certainly hope they do, but after watching the Chargers lose to them in the playoffs year after year I have to be realistic… I won’t be disappointed, because I will remember that it’s incredible that they are even there in the first place.  However, I am not saying a win is impossible… after the season the Broncos had you can never say that… because they have already defeated the toughest defense in the NFL!  Whatever the Patriots throw at them will not be as good as that.  However, Tom Brady and his offense is very good, so my prediction is it will be a high-scoring game with a close score.  My greatest hope is that it will be a good game.  That we can look back on it and, if the Broncos lose, we can still say “They did their best and had an incredible season.”  The worst kind of losses are those that a team shouldn’t have lost, but did so through carelessness or mistakes.  There have been some Broncos losses this season that have been like that.  I just hope if they lose, it won’t be one of those.
But after all, they may win!  That would be the best of all… and I think after last weekend both the Patriots and their fans are a little bit nervous.
I was thinking today, though, about how God has used Tim Tebow, and how his entire life is a miracle.  The truth is, Tim Tebow and the Broncos never should have been in the playoffs at all.  They got there by virtue of seven wild and crazy Bronco wins under the leadership of Tebow, the luck of having had two of those victories come against division rivals the Chargers and the Raiders (who finished the season with the same record, 8-8, but did not win because both had lost to the Broncos), and a Raiders loss to a Chargers team coming off a 6-game losing streak.  They squeaked into the playoffs by the width of a gnat’s eyebrow.  And then they got luck– the first game would be at home, because even though the Steelers had a better record than them, the Steelers were the wild-card team!  None of those things should have happened… and then nobody thought they could win.  Everybody knew the Steelers defense would shut down the running game, Tebow wasn’t very good at throwing the ball, and Roethlisberger, despite a sprained ankle, is an extremely good quarterback.  One article I read detailed how the Broncos didn’t have a chance and predicted they would lose by a score of 21-10.  I hoped they would win, but knew Tim Tebow would have to step up his passing game to do it.  Well, he did.  And they won.  True, they gave up an early lead and it came down to the wire at the last– but they won against the best defense in the NFL.
And now they are facing Tom Brady and the Patriots– and Tom Brady doesn’t have a sprained ankle.  But the Patriots also don’t have the greatest defense.  So it will be an interesting game to watch.  But as I look back over the season, it is amazing to realize how far the Broncos have come, and see how many times we can point to a moment and say, that should never have happened… they shouldn’t be here.  Yet they are.
And so is Tim Tebow.  It is a fitting metaphor for his life.  Tim Tebow shouldn’t have been here in the first place… and wouldn’t be, if it had been left solely up to the doctors attending his mother during her pregnancy.  Due potentially life-threatening complications during the pregnancy, she was told she should get an abortion– but she refused.  The doctor’s didn’t expect the baby to live anyway, but in spite of all odds, he did.  It was a long, difficult pregnancy, and after Tim was born the doctor told his father, ”Mr. Tebow, your child is a miracle baby. I can’t explain how it happened…”
Tim Tebow, despite all odds, was born, and was drafted in the first round by the Denver Broncos, and was made starting quarterback in his second season with them, and turned a losing season around, and, in my opinion at least, proved he has what it takes to play football in the NFL.  He lead the Broncos to a division title and a playoff win… none of that should have happened, but all of it did.
So while I won’t be disappointed if the Broncos lose on Saturday, I won’t be surprised if they win, either.
Do I believe God is involved with all this?  Yes, with all my heart.  God said, “Those who honor me I will honor,”(1 Samuel 2:14) and,
“Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With a long life I will satisfy him
And let him see My salvation.”  (Psalm 91:14)

"The tongue of the righteous is a fountain of life..."

I read the above verse in Proverbs today and it struck me particularly.  This is something I have been struggling with a lot lately.  I often speak harsh or impatient words, very often un-kind ones, I’m sorry to say.  So lately I have really been trying to watch that tendency.  Unfortunately the words rise up so quickly they often come out before I even have time to think and realize what I’m doing.  I have a very quick temper, so while my anger doesn’t usually last long, it doesn’t take much to rouse my temper and for me to speak sharp, hurtful words without thinking.  I always regret it afterwards.  So I am trying to intentionally watch that and cut back on the sharp, hurtful things I say.  Today my prayer is, “Lord, make my tongue a fountain of life.”

Merry Christmas

“…and so God did not send Jesus as a king, or as a benefactor; He did not use CNN, or ‘Independence Day’: He chose a different way. A slow, gracious, but dangerous, difficult way. He incarnated into our reality, and he dwelled among us.”     -Oscar Muriu, Urbana 2009

The meaning of Christmas has come home to me more than ever before this year.  It has hit me in a whole new, amazing way.  It is a story that shows such incredible love.  God wanted to have a relationship with us that much.  For Jesus, it involved giving up all the glories of Heaven.  Imagine that!  Angels bowed before him– he was in a sinless, perfect place, surrounded by glories we can’t even imagine.  And he willingly gave all that up.  For what?  To come to earth as a mighty warrior, born into riches and wealth as he deserved?  No.  He was born not to a rich family, not to a middle class family, but to a poor family.  He was not even born in a house.  He was born in a stable, and laid in a manger, where animals fed.  That was his welcome to this world. It is hard to imagine how Mary and Joseph must have felt, knowing who this baby was, and what he deserved– he deserved the very best– and he received a stable, and a manger, and swaddling clothes.  The contrast is incredible.  But Jesus did not come the way most people expected him to, as a warrior, as a prince, as a mighty man.  He did not come to be served, “but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for all.”  That’s how much he loved us.  And instead of lamenting the circumstances into which he was born, there was rejoicing because he had come.  God desired reconciliation with us– He desired relationship with us– and now, the way for that to take place had come to this earth.  Jesus was here, Immanuel, “God with us.”  It was so wonderful that he shared it with us– in the angels who appeared to the shepherds, in the star that the Magi followed.  He was greeted by regular people and by princes.  This baby, this baby was no ordinary baby.

It gives a whole different perspective to think about God the father, as well.  To think about His love in sending Jesus to us.  The awful pain, knowing what Jesus must go through– the incredible love– the great joy, knowing that through Jesus, we would be reconciled.  It is so amazing to think about that moment– how God must have desired reconciliation with us– and how Jesus was born into our world, and God knew that through him, at long last it would be accomplished.  And at that moment, there was joy.  Knowing what Jesus had come to accomplish, and that it would be accomplished soon.  It was such exquisite joy He shared it with us, in the heavenly hosts.  Wow!

Jesus grew up here, again, with a family that was neither rich nor high-born.  He worked with his father Joseph in carpentry and lived and walked and felt all that the people around him lived and walked and felt.  God incarnated into our reality, so that He understands our reality in an incredible way.  Jesus walked faithfully the road all the way to the cross.  And he bled and suffered and died.  Then he rose again on the third day, and ascended into Heaven.  It was finished.

That’s what Christmas means.  It is a special remembrance of God’s gift to us.  His incredible gift of love– His son.  It is a celebration of that exquisite joy.  ”Peace on earth, good will toward men.”

“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!”  -Corinthians 9:15

It Matters

I’ve been feeling a little discouraged lately… it’s kind of hard to explain it, but I guess I am still adjusting to my life away from college.  For four and a half years my life was filled with almost constant activity with school and Intervarsity.  Especially with IV, we often saw the very tangible results of our efforts to make a difference.

Now everything is different.  Being at home most of the day, I have frankly been discouraged because I felt like what I’m doing doesn’t really make a difference.  At college I heard so much about how we can make a difference with the people around us– people in our classes, roommates, on campus, co-workers, etc.  But what about when you don’t really interact with people very often?  When your days are filled with housework, cleaning, and cooking, sometimes it feels like it really doesn’t matter.

But God has been showing me that it does matter, as long as I am faithful to the work He has called me to do– that is the most important thing.  Even if I never see the difference, the important thing is being faithful– then I will leave life with no regrets.  He showed me, if I feel I am not making a difference, it is not because I don’t have any opportunities.  One of those ways is by writing.  Even if I don’t see people a lot these days, I still have an opportunity to reach out, encourage people via the internet.  That’s pretty cool.

Also prayer.  This morning I read the October 17 devotional in My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers:  ”Prayer does not equip us for greater works— prayer is the greater work. Yet we think of prayer as some commonsense exercise of our higher powers that simply prepares us for God’s work. In the teachings of Jesus Christ, prayer is the working of the miracle of redemption in me, which produces the miracle of redemption in others, through the power of God…

… it makes no difference where you are. However God may engineer your circumstances, your duty is to pray. Never allow yourself this thought, “I am of no use where I am,” because you certainly cannot be used where you have not yet been placed. Wherever God has placed you and whatever your circumstances, you should pray, continually offering up prayers to Him….

…There is nothing thrilling about a laboring person’s work…When you labor at prayer, from God’s perspective there are always results. What an astonishment it will be to see, once the veil is finally lifted, all the souls that have been reaped by you, simply because you have been in the habit of taking your orders from Jesus Christ.” (Emphasis mine.)

Wow, what an encouragement!  God’s timing, as always, is impeccable.