A Writer Again

I have been struggling some lately with knowing who I am... my identity, specifically, my identity as a writer.  It's odd, identity is never something I have really struggled with before (which I am thankful for.)  And ever since I was fifteen years old I had my eyes on a goal and walked unswervingly toward it.  Writing.  But lately I have not really felt like a writer.  My creative impulse has seemed to have waned.  Life events intervened as well-- work, housework, and other events.  It was hard to find concentrated amounts of time to devote to writing.  I hadn't had any new ideas in awhile.
So as National Novel-Writing Month loomed I wasn't sure if I was going to participate or not.  I had an idea that I had been thinking about for awhile, but I still didn't feel it was very well developed and I wasn't sure it would go anywhere.  Should I try it?  I tried this "fly by the seat of your pants" method once before, in 2008, with moderate success, and out of that effort I created some of my favorite characters to date.  But other times I have tried it have been a flop.  My other successful NaNoWriMo effort came with lots of planning, outlining, and plot and character sketches.
I deliberated all the way up to the last part of October.  But there is just something about creating a story and challenging myself in conjunction with thousands of other writers, so I decided I'd try.  To my surprise, it has gone well so far.  I am not ahead of my word count, but I have kept up with my goals, and so far I love how the story is developing.  And I think I have plenty of plotline left to continue working it out-- hopefully all the way to 50,000 words!  And the creative impulse and the joy of writing has been awakened in me again.  I feel alive again... excited... happy.  Eager to pursue the storyline further.
Then, today, something else happened which made me very excited.  I came up with a new story idea.  I haven't come up with a brand new story idea in a very long time, and that fact has been kind of discouraging to me.  I forgot how amazing it is to have an idea come-- suddenly I see characters and scenes and I am following them through various events and eager to see what happens next.  In this case it came through a dream.  I woke up out of a vivid dream this morning and suddenly there was a scene and characters I wanted to know better.  I have been following them most of the day and I love these characters.  I can't wait to find out more about them.  It is so cool to suddenly have new characters that you love to add richness to your life-- and re-affirm your love of writing and joy in creation of stories.
I feel like a writer again!  It makes me so happy :-)